Terrified

I have tried a few times to type something here.

and everytime i come to this page i'm blank.

i dont know where are my thoughts or if i even have any.

i couldn't settle down to type something or anything.

maybe life is too mundane and repetitive but i'm definitely not hating it !

cause it isn't boring to me at all.

Im indeed glad for fixed routines like this.

At least i do not have to worry how a day should pass.

Cause everyday has its fixed timetable except for the night ! (;

Now going to the hospital doesn't feel like a chore already.

Been so used to it. (: i feel weird not clipping newspapers in the morning or refilling the milo machines . Or even greeting my colleagues in the morning with a wide smile cause they do compliment my dresses sometimes :D. Oh and i miss grabbing case sheets from the filing room as i stapler them into the correct order and im still slow now even if i done it like so many times.Of course the best part it va ! how u have to figure the language or dialect the patient speaks .sometimes u meet really handsome ones, sometimes they are really nasty, sometimes they are cute. always loving (sometimes) the rush of the crowd and the business or the clinic as well as the antiseptic smell. (: every single detail is cherished cause i know i wont get a second chance again.Even though we get scolded we get cold replies or agitated demands and request from patients or up there. sucky it may feel but glad i got over them cause it really makes me better each time and reminds me not to be so slack ;D oh no, its like 3rd month (last) is here already! how fast, i have yet learn everything. worth it? hell yeah worth it :D if not why would i persist till now.

(typed the bottom after i received my results !)

Okay personally i havent given much thought to my results !

well, what i must say is the results i have received does reflect the capability and effort i have put in. it was reasonable thats why i was able to ACCEPT it. Definitely, it could have been better right but a max at that time was max. still i was glad that period was over and the outcome wasnt disappointing more of relieving that even after so long, im still persisting what i want to do in the future. So all i have to do now is to convince myself and others it will be good and the best for me. (: shall not be afraid to voice it out loud that it was my passion and something i really want to do and ONLY want to do in the future (: shall reveal after i officially get into the course of my choice ! :>

Okay after the results part, now its like time to rush all the documents required for application of scholarship like wth !!! so many things to fill in. Luckily i already thought of the course and the scholarships im heading for. Now its just the filling up and thinking of it, i cant wait to already start my university life. i guess if u have this feeling, the course u have chosen shouldnt be wrong (: No longer dreading it but anticipating every moment that is going to come next.

self note :

swim more than once a week< if not cant pass >

run at least twice a week < if not can die>

practice moves < if not look so ugly and awkward >

eat less

thats all for now.

how often do we look at message and laugh retardedly at it? these days its more than often that its happening to me. feel so dumb yet uncontrollable.

annyonghi jumushipsiyo~